Decoy Burgers?

I’ve often thought that if I ever wrote a book or a blog, I’d call it Decoy Burgers. The name comes from a small but memorable family ritual. Whenever we treated ourselves to McDonald’s, there was always a predictable challenge. George, who has severe learning difficulties and autism, struggled with the concept of sharing or waiting his turn. To him, everything on the table was his, and trying to explain otherwise would usually end in frustration, shouting, or tears.

Sometimes you just want to enjoy a simple family meal without it becoming a source of stress. So, we came up with what became known as the “decoy burgers.” We’d quietly order an extra handful of small cheeseburgers — the kind that cost less than a pound each — to act as backups. Once George had finished his main meal and was starting to look around for more, those decoy burgers would appear, one by one. It was such a simple idea, but it kept him calm and content, and it gave the rest of us the rare luxury of finishing our food in peace.

He’d usually manage one or two before losing interest, but that wasn’t really the point. It wasn’t about the burgers themselves; it was about finding a way to create a smoother, calmer moment in a day that often felt unpredictable. It was a small act of foresight that made a big difference — one of those quiet parenting victories you never see coming but end up depending on.

What makes this story stand out to me is what it represents. In many ways, it captures the constant need for creativity, flexibility, and humour that comes with raising a child with complex needs. Every day brings its own challenges, and sometimes the only way through is to invent your own solutions on the spot. For most families, an extra bag of cheeseburgers might seem unnecessary. For us, it was a tiny, brilliant piece of problem-solving that made family life just a little bit easier.